My Most Corporate Day

Today two individuals with the words "vice president" and "president" came to my office to offer decorating tips before our division head does his "white-glove inspection" of our workplace.

I wish I were kidding.

I asked for their interior design portfolio, a joke that might have put my career on the line, but they took it in stride, and then quickly fingered a piece of paper taped to the wall for removal. Ironically, it was a print-out of our division's guiding principles.

Office chatter suggests it would have survived, had it been framed.

They let this artwork go, but I still placed it in a little less conspicuous place under the overhead cabinets. And repeated its mantra in my head.

Later, the VP stopped by to admit it was a little ludicrous, but --he suggested-- necessary. I tried to chuckle and organize, but accidentally hit my paper clip holder... which began chirping. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, little bird!" I thought frantically. He looked down, but at least he laughed and the bird was spared the executioner.