Bumper Obligations

Chicago drivers, and it seems those in our neighborhood in particular, have a charming practice of taking every intersection as an opportunity to get ahead. "Snaking." You're stopped at a red light, blithely watching traffic go by, when another car creeps up on your right. But there's no right lane ahead, just a row of parked cars, you think to yourself, showing your fresh to the city naivete. And the guy to your right, no, he's not turning. You learn quickly that he's just looking for a little chance to get ahead by speeding ahead of you just as the light turns green.
Once in awhile I sigh and just say, "All right, your boldness deserves a little props. Go ahead." Particularly when my fellow driver is at the wheel of a dented Dodge Diplomat, and I'm not willing to risk the game of chicken.
But the practice is highly unethical, (as if the DMV offered a code of ethics) so I was perplexed, and then perturbed, and then just angry, when I saw a shiny red SUV employ the snaking practice at three successive intersections the other morning. Each time, as they zipped ahead of the rest of us, my fellow motorists and I were left watching their bumper pass us by with its little Christian fish magnet above it. Huh? Now that's not driving like a considerate, love thy neighbor, Christian, is it?

In fact, I'd argue that their aggressive driving merits another kind of fish magnet, something along the lines of survival of the fittest?


Post Script: Now that my "I'm Not Laughing at You, I'm Listening to Car Talk" license plate holder was clipped off by the leash of our neighbor's exuberant dog, I am released of any obligation to tell corny jokes. But you can still enjoy them.